Shut-up

So, after reading Jess' last post, I've decided to write a short rebuttal.
In reply to Jess allegations about my ostentatious behavior while having the flu (and yes, I was the worst of all who partook of it in our household---I'm almost positive.)

A#1: This post was the first I heard of Jess NOT having the flu---The first I heard of him HAVING the flu, was on the first night of the boys throwing up; in this context. "Care, I'm starting to feel a bit sick, but 'someone' really should stay in the boys room to get the bowls to the boys so they don't get it all over." So, you guessed it, that 'someone was me.
Jess was kind enough to go out to the garage to get me a sleeping bag, that much is true, but it was I who got to catch puke all night, changing bed sheets and sleeping in a sleeping bag on the ground between the two boys beds, hoping soo much that they didn't throw up on my head. (strangely enough, this was the night I got sick.)

B#2: I was actually sick

C#3: I looked really good in those pajama pants...all 3 days.

D#4: If I did yell about being so achy at three o'clock in the morning, the only people who heard me were the boys-on the second night--because I was in their room again, making them toast while Jess slept.

E#5: If I didn't "stomp" from room to room, how would anyone know to love me extra because of my ailments?

So, in conclusion--Being sick is stupid, and watching your kids be sick is the worst thing ever! (and we're all MUCH better now and have been for a week) AND...Jess is an excellent FICTIONAL writer. (love you baby!)

The Weekend just Flu by!

Evolution failed significant portions of our small family. Our massively over sized heads and advanced cognitive skills were no match for the virus known only as FLU. The thief stole in at night and secreted its self in the only place nobody would thought to have looked; our stomachs. Safe in the acidic confines of our food smashers, it wrung its little virus hands and twirled its little virus handlebar mustache and cackled its devious virus laugh. After tying our anti-nausea hormones onto the railroad tracks of the dinner train, it smiled happily and waited until the engine blew its whistle.

Luke was the first to fall victim to its evil machinations. As the last of his self control faded, he looked into the sunset with huge doe eyes and sang out, "Don't cry for me, my lasagna! The truth is I never ate you! I ate the corn dogs, I ate the salad, but not the carrots! Then he vomited dramatically onto his pillow.

Kaden was the next casualty, though he fought until the bitter end. He dug out a foxhole in the living room and fired barrage after barrage of covering fire to mask his movements. His fatal mistake was in committing to an undercover intelligence-gathering mission. He slipped out of his covered fighting position and assumed the identity of a slightly weakened child in order to learn the enemy's plans. He tucked himself into bed and took careful notes, which he then ruined with copious amounts of vomit.

Cari tried a Psychological approach. She pretended to feel like crap so that maybe the virus would not notice that it hadn't ruined her pristine health yet. But that virus, he's a manic note-taker, never leaving a single patient without a fully documented and cross-referenced chart. Cari even went to the extremes of making herself throw up and then making a huge deal out of it. "I threw up in the toilet!" She would yell all over the house. "I left it in there because I'm sooooo sick! If someone were to go look at the toilet they would certainly notice the puke that I have just recently thrown up into it!" She stomped from room to room in the same clothes she put on the morning before making sure everyone saw her unshowered, un-deodorized self. She flopped all over in the bed, and complained about sore joints and achy muscles. "Oh, I can't believe how bad I feel! Certainly I already have the flu, for me to feel this poorly at three in the morning" she would announce loudly to anyone within earshot. But she fell prey to the little intruders machinations with a fury and frequency that was unmatched by any of the previous sufferers.

I was the only one who truly outsmarted the microscopic invader. The flu set up a full-blown corporate take over in my abdomen. Accountant viruses swarmed in from dull little virus accountant offices all over the nation. Virus lawyers drove their overpriced virus cars into my orifices and parked them directly over my colon, causing no small amount of discomfort. Little middle-manager viruses took economy class virus flights to my stomach and held a trillion-member virusCorp annual corporate retreat in my gut. But I would not be beaten. I immediately developed an antibody stimulus package which I rushed through both sides of the brain, garnering unprecedented bipartisan support. I pushed the plan down to the appendage level quickly, and it quickly took hold. I hibernated. I took the virus completely by surprise and refused to let it rule the digestive organs it desired to put in reverse mode. By shutting down the entire body, I literally bored the virus away. There is so little to be gained by throwing a dormant body into complete biological disarray that the virus gave up quickly and moved onto...probably the neighbors, who knows.

So total score:
Virus - 3
Jess - 1

The rest of the family will be writing to Darwin and asking for their money back. Myself, I'll be chalking it up as a draw, and looking forward to my next run-around with the little bug...bring it Flu!

Extreme Fitness Boot Camp

So, as many of you know, Jess and I have been taking Karate for 6 months or so. And as some of you know, I have loved teaching aerobic classes in the past! The karate school that we attend is having an "Extreme Fitness Boot Camp" starting next week, and I'm teaching the kick boxing (YAY!) part of it!

I'm way excited. (and realizing how out of shape I am as I'm practicing the routines at home--for real, way out of shape. And--not to mention--how cool am I to practice in my living room--by myself)(in case you were thinking--"ha ha, you're retarded" the correct answer is "way cool").

ANYWAY, I told David Jones, our MMA instructor (mixed martial arts) that I would put out a good word for it. After the cardio section he'll be teaching a mini-seminar on self defense and how to protect ourselves. It's for men and women and it's $50 for the public and $40 for those that go to the school. The four classes are on Wednesdays and Saturdays, and if you register before the 17th you get a free pair of cardio handwraps to boot!

So, if anyone is interested just let me know, and I'll tell you where to register for it. It should be awesome--YAY--I'm excited.

Just a regular Monday Afternoon

So...today the boys had a few friends over and....turns out the weeks of rain have resulted in a section of mud in the back yard....that I didn't exactly know about when I had them go outside so we could cook dinner. THAT RESULTED in this:







It made me laugh lots....then lots of baths...but fun!

Christmas!

Ha ha--I had to laugh because the fake spoon in this picture looks so much like a pipe in the context. Ha ha! Lucas got a kitchen this year for Christmas (one that he's wanted FOREVER and Jess decided that it wasn't too "girly" as long as it was guy colors this year.) He's playing with it ALL THE TIME! I love it, he makes us cakes, dinners, drinks...it's in the kitchen with me and he cooks when I do. I love it! (good idea Rachel) Kaden got the Harry Potter books (we're on the third and he loves them!) and--drum role--some Pokemon cards from Santa--oh how did he know they would just rock his little world! The kid LOVES them. Not to mention the family Wii, Madagascar 2 game, and the Disney Scene it! Thank you everyone for the great gifts for the kids! We got so many games this year and we've LOVED playing them! YAY! Okay--for real, I wasn't so sure about the Wii initially...now we love it! All of us play it and it's so so so much fun! Go Mario Kart! The boys letter from Santa...we spread out "reindeer food" Christmas Eve night that Kade got from school (oatmeal and glitter--awesome recipe). Kade was excited too because Santa--from Lights of the South---told him that'd be great! Luke got a new bike for Christmas. He was semi excited to ride it (a little scared) Once out, he did pretty good...good pedal movement, good size bike....then he fell and scraped his knee---he was pretty bummed. He just wanted to walk home. These are from Lights of the South. It was pretty cute! It was a hay ride around Christmas lights of anything from the Christmas scene to batman to a giant castle that you take the ride through. It was fun, then at the end we met Santa (an excellent one by the way) and roasted marshmallows (and yes, they were a dollar for 4--ha ha) We went with our good friends the Thompsons and it was awesome! Christmas Eve this year was awesome. The boys loved it. We made up clues for the boys that led them from the house to the garage to their favorite climbing rock down by the creek. At each step they picked up a piece for their final puzzle. In the middle the clue led us home for dinner, where we had Chinese food waiting! (the boys have been wanting to use chop sticks for FOREVER, so we siezed the opportunity). In the end they each put together their puzzles and found their gifts--surprise--PAJAMAS!!! It was a lot shorter then we thought though. They had had dinner, were dressed in their new Iron Man robes...and it was 5:00 p.m. he he. So we all watched a movie, read the Christmas story and hit the sack! It was great and they LOVE scavenger hunts to pieces so it was just perfect!

Should we get a trampoline?

So Jess and I have been thinking about getting the boys a backyard trampoline.....Just a month ago I was certain I would never have one. (on account of little boys don't need motivation to break their body parts). But I was talking to some friends who said that their kids hardly ever play on their swing sets, but play on their tramps everyday.
We have nothing in the backyard right now and the boys get bored out there....anyway--I was wondering what everyone thought--ya or nay? (and if yes, what kinds are good?)

Kade's Christmas Play

walking reverently out...



Handsome fellow in his new suit







Kade was asked to pass out programs by the door...he got so bored waiting for people...but he just looked so cute!!!




I've been so so so excited for Kade's first Christmas play--which, although I hadn't thought of it, Jess' mom made me realize last night that this is probably the last time, through school, that he'll do a "nativity" Christmas play, and I'm so glad they did. It was so so cute! Kade was one of the hosts which meant that he got a speaking part, and got to hand out the programs to the parents at the door. When he got his part, it made me laugh....because it wasn't exactly what I was expecting for the play, "Next we will be taking a group picture. You are invited to take pictures at that time." ha ha, so funny, and he did sooooooooo great! Jess and I loved it. Thanks to the Johnsons who watched Luke, we were able to watch the entire thing uninterupted. YAY!!! Merry Christmas everyone!

Shots

The boys and I got our flu shots the other day. Kade knew about his shots (he needed two others as well) a few days in advance...he heard me make the appointment on the phone. ANYWAY, I got mine, then we had Kade go next so he could be a tough example for Luke. Kade was sooooooooooo scared. Once on the table he cried and was so nervous....through the tears after the first shot he mumbled out..."oh, well, that didn't hurt so bad...then the next shot and...--ya, that didn't hurt much either. Apparently the flu shot was the worst and he didn't mention it being easy. AT ANY RATE....
After all that craziness, Luke from on the chair to the side shouted out, "MY TURN NEXT!" with so much excitement. He hoped right up, winced and was done. It made me laugh at my little masochistic son! :)

TWILIGHT!
YAY! The group of us!---ha ha, it's funny cause A#1: we're trying to wear these fangs that just kept falling out but were AWESOME-thanks Linds, and B#2: it's funny to look at the group of 12 or so and try to see who stayed up for the show and who "woke up" for the show....poor Shari was so sick and so so pregnant (sorry Shar).


This was soooooooooo fun! We all went to the midnight showing of Twilight on Thursday night and amidst the cracking up due to Lindsey, Shantelle and Jessica, we really liked it. It was exactly what I expected. (we really did laugh a lot because of the awesome music and well, it was a little lower budget..) We loved it and despite the lameness at which I was a mom the next day, it was worth it (and the boys LOVED watching Kung Fu Panda while I rested!) Good idea Jessica! I loved it!

rock climbing

One of the last things we did before we left Utah was go rock climbing with Scott. Kade loved it and was really good at it (and he didn't get a chance to get bored because about an hour in another little girl came and they had more fun running around, it worked out great) It was sooooooooo fun. Now, Scott is into Bouldering, which is rock climbing without the rope, and not too high, just hard. It was sooo great! The climbs are measured in V's--starting at V-0, V-1 and up to V-10 or something at the quarry that he goes-ANYWAY, I totally rocked the V-0's and then tried the V-1's....then went back to V-0's. I so so so so so wish there was some sort of rock climbing place within 100 miles of us. So here is some of Kade and at the end of the video is an awesome new jump thing Scott learned while we were there.

Last week we went to Las Vegas with Jess family and he met us there. It WAS AWESOME. Jess' parents are so incredibly generous and paid for our stay (in a hotel that was huge and so pretty) gas, food and fun. It was Jess' grandpa's 90th birthday and we all gathered for that. It was fun to play the "who is that again" game.


The boys saw the M&M factory (which, by the time we walked to it, we only had 15 minutes...but they had time to fill up their bags with whichever m&m color they wanted. I didn't think Luke would care too much when we saw the giant m&m guys, but he loved them! I didn't get a very good shot because of how many people were around him but he was just a-waving and shouting hi.
That night we went to the birthday party, which was fun. I think Jess' grandpa is just so nice and there were lots and lots of people there to celebrate! Afterwards Jess and me, Aubrey, Melodie,Justin, Emily and Riley went out on the town to see the sights (which, in Vegas, is the grossest time for sure!!! Yuck) but we went through some of the prettiest hotels and by 12:05 got to the Bilagio to see the water show. We waited and laughed and waited and laughed (Melodie's got the moves!)...until a nice homeless man told us the water shows end at midnight. So, we walked back. (I was glad I was wearing flip-flops). Anyway--it was tons of fun to just hang out with everyone!
Sunday we went to church and after said goodbye to Melodie, Justin and Riley who had to get back for work. That night Jess and I went to visit our way super awesome friends, Tom and Tiffeny Kutz! YAY! I just love them! I so wish we had more time to play, but as it was we had just dropped off Jess' family at grandpa's at it was getting late. I can't wait till next time! (we're crossing our fingers that we'll win some money so we can come on your cruise with ya'll---SO FUN)



Monday, we went to Circus Circus--and it was so fun! Especially the Acrobat act with the guys from Kenya--AMAZING! we were cheering so so loud! Then we went to see the AWESOMENESS of the Mirage. Who knew (well, tons of people--just not me) that they had dolphins and tigers and lions....there? We lucked out with a few free tickets and it truly was amazing. The animals were all up and walking around and playing and so so so close. Not to mention the dolphins were so cute! Anyway, the boys loved it! Lastly we wanted the boys to see the Treasure Island show...but turns out after a day of walking and so much fun...the three boys (Brody) were all asleep in our arms. So we went home instead. Jess and I and Aubrey took the boys to Madagascar that night and THEY LOVED IT!!! We were all laughing so much. What a good show! We loved it and Kade and Luke were laughing lots. We totally recommend it! They were out like a light that night!
Jess flew home Tuesday morning and we drove back to Utah. The trip home was awesome too, Jess' mom had gone to the dollar store and LOADED up on toys and cramed them into a black bag for the three boys and they really did love that (thanks) and the Suburban they rented had a DVD player and everything..and really, except Kaden needing to go to the bathroom every 5 minutes everything was pretty easy breezy!. It was a great trip and we loved it!

I don't have many pics from Vegas cause my camera's battery ran out, so sorry it's kinda boring...Aubrey's going to send me her pics!

Also, Scott found all his old pokemon collection and has been giving some to Kaden. HE's IN HEAVEN! He had one card that he got from Mathew Johnson, asked Scott if he knew about it, Scott found his stuff, and now he won't let it out of his sight. Kade carries all his cards around in his Superman wallet. It makes me laugh.

Kade's Jump

Pieces of our Utah Trip

Utah has been soooooo much fun! And the weather has been so nice and warm and AWESOME. The boys are loving it and have been so so so busy with all the activities we've been packing in. Yesterday we raked up all the leaves and the pile was huge.....so....we talked Kade into jumping from the tree house into the leaves. HE LOVED IT.



We were so so lucky to be here on Brody's birthday. YAY--Emily had it at Kangaroo Zoo and we ALL had so so much fun! HAPPY 3RD B-DAY BRODY!!! WE LOVE YOU.



I've never played Rock Band before...TURNS OUT IT ROCKS! he he...I loved it and totally want it now. The boys liked playing it too and Kade did a great job with B.J. on the guitar. Anyway--so fun!



Pumpkin carving was funny because...turns out...Kade and Luke both think it's pretty gross. We all tried to show them how COOL it was to mash the pumpkin innards...didn't work. but...by the end they were at least used to it.



We went to a childrens museum at the gateway mall and it was so so so fun. It had so much fun stuff for toddlers and Kade's age. It had a house that was to scale for the boys, a working construction site with cranes and building blocks...a grocery store with fake food and isles and cash registers and oh so much cute stuff. Anyway, Kade and Gavin were dressed up the whole time as Police Chief Kade and Firechief Gavin and patroled the area. They LOVED it. It was super cool!




This is a picture in mom's back yard. Kade has just climbed acrossed the monkey bars for the first time (he was so so brave) and we called Dad to share the good news. We miss you JESS!!! And seriously CAN'T wait to see you this weekend!!! YAY!!! We love you baby!

Oh, and in case you didn't notice...there's Pac Man on the bottom of this blog and I LOVE IT. I first started playing it on Hannah's blog...then it stopped working and I had to take matters into my own hands. At any rate, I'm totally addicted and LOVE Pac Man. Just a little heads up!

WICKED!!!

YAY!!! Last night Shantelle and me when to the Broadway play WICKED. It was awesome!!! First of all, the drive was so fun, then the theatre was awesome! I've been listening to the music for years now and I've never seen the play and now sooo many questions are answered. And it was hilarious! I laughed the ENTIRE first half because of how hilarious Glinda was--seriously, soooooo funny! Then the second half Shantelle and I both were crying-it was sooooo fun and thanks so much for coming with me Shantelle--you're amazing and I learn so much from you! Happy Birthday(IT REALLY WAS SO FUN!!! GO WICKED!)

Silly boys!

I'm going to try and add some video. Kade and Luke have come to 2 of mine and Jess' karate classes and now they practice what they saw with each other. (Yikes--I know they're going to start practicing it on other people--but as of right now--it just kind of makes me laugh)

Apple Tasting Party

This was such a cute idea! My friend Brittney had an apple tasting party the other night to welcome in the fall! We all brough apple dishes or pumpkin dishes and we voted on the best tasting apple out of her huge selection! The winner was Honeycrisp apples--Most of us had never heard of it--and turns out it was the most expensive type--awesome! But thanks again Brittney--soooo fun!

Oh, and here is the recipe from the Apple-Pecan Sticky Buns that I brought. I had never tried it and got it out of a magazine with an awesome picture!!! Anyway--it turned out really nummy:



Prep time: 40 min
Bake time: 40 min

2 tart apples, such as granny smith—peeled, cored and sliced 1/4 inch thick
1 1/4 cups plus 1 tablespoon packed light brown sugar
1 1/2 sticks (6 ounces) butter, softened
2 cups flour
1/4 cup granulated sugar
1 tablespoon baking powder
3/4 teaspoon salt
2 large eggs
1 cup heavy cream
1 cup chopped pecans
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
2 tablespoons honey

1. Preheat the oven to 400°. Grease a 9-inch square baking pan. Place the apples, 1 tablespoon brown sugar and 1 tablespoon butter on a parchmentpaper- lined baking sheet; toss to coat. Cover loosely with foil and roast until tender, 15 minutes. Lower the oven temperature to 350°.
2. Meanwhile, using an electric mixer, blend the flour, granulated sugar, baking powder and 1/4 teaspoon salt at low speed. Add 5 tablespoons butter and mix until crumbly. In a small bowl, whisk the eggs with 1/2 cup cream, then mix into the dry ingredients.
3. On a lightly floured surface, roll out the dough to form a 9-inch rectangle. In a small bowl, mix 1/2 cup brown sugar, the pecans and cinnamon. Cut up 2 tablespoons butter and dot the dough. Sprinkle the brown sugar mixture on top and cover evenly with the roasted apples. Roll up the dough, jelly roll-style, and cut crosswise into 9 slices; place the slices cut side down in the prepared baking pan. Bake until golden, 35 to 40 minutes. Transfer to a rack to cool.
4. Meanwhile, in a saucepan, bring the remaining 4 tablespoons butter, 3/4 cup brown sugar, 1/2 cup cream, 1/2 teaspoon salt and the honey to a boil, stirring. Whisk until reduced, about 2 minutes. Let cool slightly. Drizzle the sauce over the warm buns.


I would put the nutrition facts--but it's a little depressing so...just know they TASTE AWESOME! :)

6th ANNIVERSARY!!!

We had a wonderful 6th Wedding Anniversary this last week. We went to The Chop House and it was AMAZING! The steak melted in our mouths---the sweet potato was like a little dream on a plate..but my favorite was dessert (like ALWAYS) I wanted to bring the spoon home just to have as a souvenir it was that good. YUM. Afterwards we went to Bed Bath and Beyond to get new pillows for our presents! YAY!! Only I picked out one of those memory foam pillows with the swerve top (to help with neck strain) and WOW....it was awful. I woke up the next day with the worse cramped neck I've ever had. Turns out, I love my old pillows. Anyway--thanks Johnsons for watching our kids and...seriously, anyone who wants the best dessert ever, get the fudge carmel cake with AMAZING ice cream at the Chop House. (I might be drooling a little right now thinking about it.)

And Jess--I LOVE YOU. You are INCREDIBLE. You're an amazing, fun dad, a thoughtful, caring, kind, "one who sees and listens through my emotional tears and makes sense of the insanity underneath" WONDERFUL and loving best friend. I'm eternally grateful that we were brought together. I learn from you everyday of my life. Turns out I'm not always right....ha...who knew? (well, you did) but I love learning with you, and being with you through this amazing journey! Thanks for choosing me!